I love living in D.C. and its suburban environs (#teammaryland), but I don’t love this bizarre game we’re playing with New York and San Francisco where we try to see who can reach the Zenith of Unaffordability first. At the Zenith of Unaffordability, as legend has it, the moon blocks out the sun, rats and pigeons flee to the hills, and everyone who is an actual human and not a money-generating robot is forced to move to Cleveland.

Until then, I will enjoy all the perks of living in (a suburb north of) our nation’s capital.

Inspired by the recent map of “The Salary You Need to Buy a Home in 27 U.S. Cities,” in The Washington Post, I’ve compiled a handy list of “What You Need to Rent a 1-Bedroom Apartment in 11 U.S. Cities.” Enjoy!