Family

10 posts

My Parenting Style, Sponsored By Audible*

My Parenting Style, Sponsored By Audible*

*Disclaimer: This post is absolutely not sponsored by Audible. I wish. This is a post about parenting, but its exact nature has eluded me for a while. Is it an advice piece? Satire? A cry for help? Honestly? It’s kind of all of the above. When I first started writing this post, roughly 17 years

Bestmester: Momma I Made It

Bestmester: Momma I Made It

If you told me nine months ago that eventually I’d be here, a few days from my due date, relatively calm and ready to welcome Jess Jr. into the world … well, I’d believe you. That’s how time works. Except for a few times during Hellmester, I didn’t actually believe this baby would kill me.

So You’d Like To Have An Eternal Baby…

Moms. I see you out there, watching your child get a little less small every day, excited for them but also nostalgic for those moments and milestones that pass so quickly. Maybe the tiniest bit heartbroken, knowing your baby is a little less a baby every day. Perhaps you think “slow down” or “let me

14 Verified Ways To Avoid Murdering The Love Of Your Life

14 Verified Ways To Avoid Murdering The Love Of Your Life

❤Accept them for who they are, flaws and all. Hire someone to compensate for their flaws. ❤Turn their grating behaviors into silent drinking games that only you play. ❤Employ tennis’ Hawk-Eye line-calling technology to settle all disputes over who is taking up more than their side of the bed. ❤Don’t compare them to other people’s

One Ring To Rule Them All

I got engaged this month! It’s very exciting and I’m very excited. Full disclosure, though: I’ve been lowkey planning my wedding for a cool four months now. I bought the dress and booked the venue all before holmes dropped to one knee on a bridge on the romantic Biltmore Estate in Asheville, North Carolina. There

A Field Guide To Sisters

This week one of my sisters had a birthday of some numerical value. No, I’m not sure how old she is. Yes, I could easily just add five years to my own age. No, I’m not sure how old I am either. Listen, I’m the baby of the family. I’m not here to keep an

Holidays, Before And After Small Children

When I was home in Pennsylvania this past Thanksgiving, I was thinking — not for the first time — how different holidays are these days now that we have a few small children in the house. Not my children, of course. I’m still a childless waste of good genes over here (KIDDING, kids are cute but scary).

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